Life

Things I Don’t Understand: Part Deux – Loan companies and more

]I’ve already done a part one somewhere. But there are so many things I don’t understand I had to write a sequel.

I don’t understand how people know anything about wine.

Wine, to me, tastes like wine. And when they pour a small amount into my glass in a restaurant and wait for my verdict. I just take a sip and nod my approval. I have no real idea as to whether it’s OK or not. It could be a glass of human waste and I’d still allow it to be poured to the rest of the table. So if you ever go to dinner with me, sorry in advance.

I don’t understand why everyone hates Nickelback.

I mean, I’m not a fan or anything. But I really don’t understand what’s so terrible about them that it brings people together in mutual ill feeling. I have never met a fellow British person, American or Canadian that doesn’t share this weird opinion. And I’m just going to put it out there and make myself unpopular. But I would rather listen to Nickelback than Coldplay. Possibly the most depressing band of all time.

I don’t understand how all of the loan companies near me are still in business. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know how the money order places near me are alive still. Who uses them?

I mean, if you visit my hometown, you’ll see an entire street full of them. Are people just making their way down the road taking out loans at each and every one? I guess so. And that seems irresponsible.

I don’t understand how people aren’t terrified of horses.

Horses have metal feet. And they’re much bigger than humans. They spook easily. And when they get scared they kick! That’s terrifying! I don’t want to be kicked in the head by a metal foot!

I don’t understand how smoking came about.

Did someone just turn around one day and say ‘you know what would make my day better. Inhaling some smoke into my lungs’. That actually goes for the first time most things we do happened. Who was the first person to think we could drink cows milk?